Posts Tagged ‘sandton city


Sandton City Parking – Taking Things To A Whole Other Level

It’s a known fact that parking in larney shopping centres, whether they are in Joburg or Cape Town, is ridiculously expensive.

I’ve been fleeced for as much as R10 for parking for 5 minutes which may not sound like a lot, but when you spend as much time in shopping centres as I do, that can add up to as much as R10 a month!

In my recent trip to Joburg I was forced to pay a visit to the Nashua Mobile in Sandton city to get an upgrade on my 3G card and on arriving was SHOCKED and DISMAYED to find that parking in said shopping centre seems to have undergone the same hyper-inflation that Germany suffered post World War I where a basketful of money would buy you two Chappies.



Unbelievable! Not only is the parking ridiculously priced, but it would appear that the MINIMUM amount of time people are allowed to shop for is 12 HOURS!

And the maximum is 45?!

Who the fuck in their right mind would shop for 45 hours?! Sure, I understand that we are a consumer society and all, but 45 hours of shopping is taking things a little too far if you ask me.

And what’s the deal with the R1 111 amount and the R2 345 amount? Do you get to choose? Who is his right goddamn mind is going to pay R1 234 MORE than they have to for parking?

The world has indeed lost it’s fucking mind.

So just be warned guys, if you shop at Sandton City they will TRAP you for 12 hours and make you pay anywhere between R1 111 and R2 345 for parking.




Site Overhaul Initiating… beep… fail

Today looked different in my head.

It started with me waking up before 9.30, making a killer breakfast with bacon and eggs and sausages and fried tomatoes and mushrooms cooked slowly in butter, freshly squeezed cold orange juice, toast from homemade bread, more jam than you could shake a stick at.



Can you taste that? Fahk.

After that I was going to take J-Rab somewhere away from here, away from all the cement and asphalt. We were going to drive, far out there and find a place where the two of us could be alone, there would be a river there we could drink out of, we’d spread a blanket out under some trees, pop a bottle of champagne, drink it out of crystal flutes and eat expensive sandwiches, the ones from Woolies.

We’d look up at the sky through the leaves and see big ‘ol lazy birds circling overhead, riding thermals for kicks.



We’d drive back home just before sunset, the warm feeling of the sun still on our skin, and we’d be happy, our heads fuzzy from the champagne, and we would want nothing, nothing else from this life except for everything we had already.

It would be raining as we fell asleep.

Instead we got up sometime after 10 and tidied the flat until 2. We went to Sandton City, I exchanged a shirt J-Rab got me for a better one and we came back home.

And all the while, these dreams kept coming back to me from last night. In one I was preparing for war, and when it broke I was unstoppable. They sent me in there armed with a giant machete, and I hacked the shit out of anything in my path. Problem was, it was my own ranks I was hacking my way through.




In another dream I dreamed this girl I know appeared in Playboy magazine and had a horizontal instead of vertical vagina. As in, not up and down but left to right. Freud would love me.

Then my brother called from Australia where he’s just moved and we talked for about an hour. It was good to make contact again, I think it’s been about 6 months or more since we spoke last. He’s a good man, my brother and he’s living a good life over in Oz. I really hope I can visit him sometime soon.

My day got better from that point and the evening has been pretty damn awesome. J-Rab cooked us up an amazing stir-fry and I rented the new Star Trek movie to watch, which I really, really enjoyed and I would encourage everyone to watch, doesn’t matter if you’re a sci-fi freak or not, it’s a great action movie and the script is rock solid.



Now I’m watching Alexander on E-TV and thinking man-o-man Rosario Dawson has a great rack, it’s pretty much the best thing about the entire movie. Something about Colin Farrell makes me want to punch him in the face when I see him in some movies, same is true for Jared Leto (yet another reason why I fucking love Fight Club. What Edward Norton does to Leto’s face in that movie? Yeah, I’ve wanted to do that for years).

But anyway, the overhaul of this site never happened. I’m sorry. I know you’re heartbroken. Please, let me make it up to you with this great pic of Rosario Dawson I just found…



All good? Great 🙂

I will say one thing about today though, it may not have started like I wanted it to, but it’s raining slow and heavy outside, so at least it’s going to end the way I hoped it would.

Ain’t that wonder 😉


A Word From The Kind Folks At Nokia

April 2018
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