29
Dec
09

This day can be summed up in a mere spattering of words

Ok, ready?

Here is today: wake up, watch Drag me to Hell with Action Jackson, get my ass handed to me in Smackdown vs Raw on the Xbox by Action Jackson, swim some, J-Rab comes home from work, I return the DVDs (we also hired The Boat That Rocked) and we make supper.

Guys, I’m not going to lie to you, nothing happened today. I made some headway on a script I’m working on, that’s about it.

BUT if you wanna know what I think about the two movies I saw, we can definitely go there:

The Boat That Rocked

 

A bunch of loud and unruly middle-aged dudes broadcast rock and pop from a boat anchored off England’s shores while the authorities try and shut them down. It’s a load of dung. If you’ve seen it, maybe you can help me with a few questions I have.

1. Why the fuck did they include the scene where the young guy on the ship nearly shags the chick the fat guy has waiting in the dark for him? How did that add to the story? Not at all as far as I could tell.

2. Why the fuck did they include the entire bit about Simple Simon getting married, then the two guys trying to out-chicken one another and eventually jumping off the masthead into the ocean? How did that add to the story? Another spectacular fail.

3. What was the story about? It sits squarely on the fence between a coming of age theme and the whole rebellious rock and roll theme (perpetuated by a cast of dudes who, like I said, are old enough to be your dad, what the fuck?)

4. What the hell did the young guy do on the ship besides just goof off with the other losers on the ship?

5.  Why the hell was the young dude so happy to get back with his love interest after she arrived on the ship and shagged the fat guy instead of the young dude because he took too long to get a condom? What a dirty little whore, I wouldn’t fucking want her after that.

6. Why were the bad guys so utterly ineffective and unthreatening in every way? They do two things throughout the movie to try and stop the good guys, the first is countered by the good guys instantly and proves totally ineffective and the second shuts down their whole operation.

I dunno. It felt lazy, it felt sloppy. If you liked this movie, I want you to watch the scene where the young guy sits down with the weather and news reader and the totally random other guy after the young guy has just walked in on the chick he was going to sleep with in bed with the fat guy.

Watch that scene and tell me what you saw, cause all I saw was a buncha total losers dunking biscuits in each other’s tea, eating the biscuits with naughty grins on their faces in a kind of ‘cheer up mate’ scene with not a word of dialogue.

Cringe-worthy.

Drag Me To Hell

 

 

Now this was an interesting movie, I’d recommend watching it if you’re a horror fan, but just be warned, the lead actress in it gets a LOT of shit in her mouth. Eyeballs, insects that get puked all over her, embalming fluid, fuck, you name it, she takes it right in the mouth.

Sam Raimi (director of Evil Dead and Spiderman) wrote and directed it and I really like the way he builds tension in the movie. It’s brilliant because his script is nice and lean and you know when everything’s going well and it’s all smiles and ‘Yay it’s over’ that it’s not fucking over and something even worse is just around the corner.

Now I’m indulging in a little more chillin to the max and then bedtime. Big day tomorrow. No idea why.

Later party people.

-ST

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