Posts Tagged ‘bill murray

04
Mar
11

It Probably Seemed Like A Great Idea At The Time…

Posing with your mom for a print advert, pretty harmless right?

Posing with your mom for a ‘Got Milk’ advert? Hmm, we’re starting to get into some dangerous territory here…

But posing with your mom when she’s Sofia Vergara in this specific Got Milk ad could very well be the dumbest move in a career that started and ended in pretty much exactly the same moment.

Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, my new favourite Got Milk ad:

 

 

So yeah, that strapping young lad is Manolo Vergara, Sofia’s 19 year old son and no, he’s NEVER gonna live this down.

“It has protein and potassium that have helped my little body become, well, not so little.” Hells yeah! Milk did that?! Christ-on-a-bike it really is amazing!

 

 

These ads have always creeped me out because seriously, what milk does that to your upper lip? They’re bad enough without the blatant oedipal references, what the fuck is wrong with Americans? Are these the lengths they have to go to to get people to drink milk?

And who says it’s that amazing for you? Did anyone ever stop to think that we’re drinking another mammal’s lactate, and not just while we’re young, but throughout our entire lives? Not to mention all the crazy-assed growth hormones that milk is also probably rich in, which does lend a little credence to how Sofia’s little body got not so little.

Here’s a better idea: drink whisky.

 

 

And with those wise words I’m outta here. Have a killer weekend party people, I’ll see you crazy cats on the other side.

-ST

29
Apr
10

Slippin’ up!

Hey all you crazy kids!

I’ve let things slide on the site the past couple of days, but it doesn’t mean I love you any less ok? C’mere, let’s hug it out, there there…

So in return for being such a crap blogger of late, I’m going to recommend two things I’ve discovered recently VERY HIGHLY because I think they’ll better your life and that’s what Them’s Fightin’ Words is all about.

Ok, thing number one is a whisky I had the pleasure of tasting on Monday evening that pretty much melted my mind into a thick, gloopy mess it was so incredible.

It’s one of the whiskies that fall under the Suntory group (like from Lost In Translation remember? ‘For relaxing times, make it Suntory time’).

 

 

See, the story goes that in 1923 Suntory’s founder, Shinjiro Torii began Japan’s first whisky distillery in Yamazaki, on the outskirts of Kyoto. Ahh, Kyoto! I hear you say. Yes! Kyoto! The Japanese city famed the world over for it’s exceptionally high quality drinking water.

And any whisky drinker worth his salt knows that water is one of three ingredients that goes into whisky. See where I’m going with this?

In 1973, Suntory introduced a range of whisky called ‘Yamazaki’ and I shit you not, the Yamazaki 18 year old is some of the best whisky I’ve ever tasted IN MY LIFE.

AND at R1,300 a bottle, it’s dirt cheap!… Um… if you just won the lottery or robbed a bank or something…

 

 

The other killer discovery I made is the movie The Men Who Stare At Goats. I got my hands on a pre-release copy, how badass is THAT!

Yeah! Pity it was only the first 17 minutes of the movie, but MAN, those 17 minutes were so fucking funny I just about laughed my ass clean off, which is saying a lot cause 90% of the ‘funny’ movies I watch elicit a few chuckles and that’s about it.

Here’s an idea of how rad it is.

Opening scene: Close up on a guy with an immaculate grey moustache’s face. He is staring with unmatched intensity DIRECTLY AT YOU. We cut to a slightly wider, head and shoulders shot of the same dude, he’s sitting at a desk in army uniform, still STARING DIRECTLY AT YOU.

Fuck he is intense.

Cut back to the close up for a few more seconds. ‘Boone’ the guy says, ‘I’m going into the next office.’

Moustache-man stands up abruptly and sprints AS FAST AS HE CAN across the room only to collide with full force into the opposite wall.

He collapses on the floor and stares furiously at the wall.

‘Damnit’ he growls.

 

 

So probably what you need to do for a really fun night is buy a bottle of Yamazaki 18 year old and drink THE WHOLE THING whilst watching The Men Who Stare At Goats.

It’ll be a night you never forget… OR REMEMBER!

In other news, I’m going to win an X-Box, and not just any X-Box, but an X-Box Elite! Sometimes being the most badass writer on the face of the PLANET has its uses.

This is one of those times.

Until tomorrow.

-ST




A Word From The Kind Folks At Nokia

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