There is no post today. Don’t come here all expectant, looking for something significant, something that will make you laugh, something that one day you can tell your kids about, because you won’t find it.
The post that was supposed to be here up and left, no goodbye note, no forwarding address, no explanation. It was here the one minute, and the next, it was smoke.
There are other posts out there, millions upon millions, written by other people, fine people and people you can admire and say ‘I’m proud of him. He did everything I wished he would do, he grew up into a great person and made all the right choices in his life and I couldn’t be happier with the direction his life has taken. What a great guy. What a winner. His haircut is the best. He dresses well. He says everything perfectly at the right time, always. He will look after us… he will look after us…’
Don’t come here for that guy. The guy here isn’t that guy. The guy here is bent and a million different kinds of fucked up and if you don’t believe me, just ask people for chrissake, they’ll tell you. They’ll tell you straight up to weave a circle round him thrice and close your eyes with holy dread, with holy dread, for he on honeydew hath fed.
And drank the milk of paradise.
There is no post today, be glad of that, because if there was one it wouldn’t be friendly and curl up in your lap and keep you warm while it dozed contentedly, no.
It would bite you if there was a post here, with dirty teeth, and you wouldn’t leave feeling happy, you would leave feeling hurt.
There is no post today, but the authorities are on their way to kill whatever has taken it’s place, the rough beast that slouches, growling, slavering here in the dark.
For your sake, and mine, let’s hope they bring the big guns and don’t stop until whatever is here is sprayed in wet, red chunks all over the walls.